Finding Calm in a Busy Season

For many people, the holiday season brings lights, traditions, and connection. But for others, this time of year can feel overwhelming, pressured, or emotionally heavy. While some stress is normal during a busy season, holiday anxiety often goes deeper. If you’ve ever felt tense or on edge while everyone else seems cheerful, you’re not alone.

Surveys from organizations like the American Psychological Association (APA) show that finances, family conflict, time pressure, and social expectations make the holidays one of the most stressful times of the year. Understanding why this happens—and knowing how to take care of yourself—can help you move through the season with greater calm and compassion.

Anxiety vs. Everyday Worry: Why the Difference Matters

It’s normal to worry about things like buying gifts, hosting a gathering, or sticking to a budget. But clinical anxiety behaves differently.

Everyday Worry

• Tied to a specific situation

• Temporary and manageable

• Goes away once the task is done

• Doesn’t significantly disrupt daily life

Anxiety

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), anxiety becomes more serious when it:

• Persists even without an immediate stressor

• Feels difficult to control

• Affects sleep, mood, or decision-making

• Causes physical symptoms such as muscle tension, nausea, or racing thoughts

• Interferes with work, relationships, or daily functioning

Holiday anxiety can intensify these symptoms because of the unique pressures this season brings.

Why Holiday Anxiety Happens

There are several reasons anxiety can spike during the holidays, even for people who don’t typically struggle with it.

1. Emotional Expectations

We absorb the message that the holidays “should” be joyful and warm. When reality doesn’t match those expectations, it creates pressure, guilt, or feelings of failure.

2. Social Stress

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) notes that social gatherings can trigger anxiety—especially for those who feel judged, misunderstood, or overwhelmed in groups.

3. Financial Pressure

Gifts, travel, and food costs add up quickly. Financial strain is one of the most reported holiday stressors in APA surveys.

4. Family Dynamics

Old patterns, unresolved conflicts, or strained relationships often resurface this time of year.

5. Grief and Loneliness

For those who have lost someone or feel disconnected, the season can amplify pain or isolation.

6. Disrupted Routines

Changes to sleep, exercise, and eating habits make emotional regulation harder and can heighten anxiety symptoms.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Holiday Anxiety

You might notice:

• Increased irritability or tension

• Trouble sleeping

• Racing thoughts about expectations or obligations

• Dread before social events

• Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, or rapid heartbeat

• Feeling overstimulated, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained

If these symptoms resonate, it’s a sign you deserve support and gentleness—especially with yourself.

Evidence-Based Strategies to Ease Holiday Anxiety

Here are practical, research-supported ways to find calm in a season that often feels anything but:

1. Reset Your Expectations

Let go of the idea of a “perfect” holiday. Choose meaning over perfection. Give yourself permission to do less.

2. Protect Your Routine

Your body and mind thrive on consistency. Even during busy weeks, try to maintain:

• Regular meals

• Hydration

• Sleep patterns

• Small movement or stretching breaks

These habits stabilize your nervous system.

3. Create (and Stick to) a Budget

Planning financially reduces anxiety and prevents guilt or stress later. Consider thoughtful, low-cost alternatives like shared experiences or handwritten letters.

4. Practice Calming Techniques

Evidence-based methods such as mindfulness and breathing exercises can soothe quick spikes of anxiety:

• Deep belly breathing

• 4–7–8 breathing

• Progressive muscle relaxation

• Mindful walking or grounding exercises

Just a few minutes can reset your system.

5. Take Social Breaks

It’s okay to step outside, take a breather, or leave early. You’re not obligated to absorb every moment if it’s draining.

6. Communicate Boundaries

Before gatherings, decide what topics or situations you want to avoid. Practice simple, respectful phrases like:

• “I’d prefer not to talk about that today.”

• “Let’s change the subject.”

Boundaries support your well-being.

7. Limit Alcohol

Alcohol can temporarily numb anxiety but often worsens it later. Be mindful of how it affects your body and mood.

8. Reach Out for Support

Therapy—especially cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), recommended by the APA—can help you build skills to manage anxiety year-round. Support groups and check-ins with trusted friends can also make the season feel less isolating.

When It’s Time to Seek Professional Help

Consider reaching out to a mental-health professional if:

• Anxiety feels unmanageable

• You’re experiencing panic attacks

• Your sleep or appetite is significantly disrupted

• You feel persistently sad or hopeless

• Your symptoms impact work, relationships, or daily functioning

Professional support can help you navigate the holidays with more clarity, confidence, and emotional support.